My mind has not been on the house or the blog lately. In fact, my mind is being pulled in so many different directions that it’s not really “on” anything at the moment. It’s just bouncing around like a pin ball, careening off my skull, setting off lights and bells, then as it begins a slow rolling descent to end the madness, a flipper comes out of nowhere and sends it back into the strange orbit. I have a loved one who has been diagnosed with cancer, mystifying words and acronyms like stereotypy, NVLD, ADHD and IEP whizzing past me, struggles at work, no energy for the things that give me energy like eating right and exercising and doing things I enjoy. I can’t seem to get ahead of these things and it is overwhelming. I need some strategies.
1. Meditate – If there is a level lower than novice, then that is what I am at meditation. I listened to an interview on NPR once and the subject of the interview talked about his meditation technique which was basically sitting still with his eyes shut and breathing and pushing out all thoughts that weren’t focused on breathing. That’s what I do. Meditation doesn’t solve any of my problems, but it gives me a few minutes of calm in brain. I’ll sit in my car for 10 minutes at lunch with my eyes shut and do my best to shut everything off.
2. Do What You Love – I didn’t want to write tonight. I don’t have anything to say that I would consider relevant to the blog. But I’m writing anyway. Because I do love it and I would have felt like it was a small failure if I hadn’t. Again, none of my problems will be solved by writing this post, but I won’t feel the guilt or disappointment of having missed a day. So, if this sounds/feels a little self indulgent, it’s because it is. Because I need to be indulged a little right now.
3. Make a List – Writing down the things that are bothering me takes their weight away. They stop being pin ball flippers smacking me in the head and they become a two dimensional obstacle that I can strategize for. Looking at a finite grouping of items brings some order to the chaos. My mind can start to focus and I start to be able to see the good again.